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Found out im pregnant after being told im most likely infertile my whole life
by /u/HannahMarie04 | 114 comments | 2026-06-14T00:16:05+00:00 Central
Comments
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| /u/Conscious-Ad-1711 I feel like I hear so many cases like this. |
| /u/Busy-Bus-6267 Yes because people think infertile is the same as sterile. |
| /u/mildly_spicy_potato Woah. As an infertile person who had a surprise baby, this was an eye opening sentence. |
| /u/PrehistoricPancakes Yeah I had 2 surprise babies. I was told I was infertile growing up and I guess I thought the first one was just a super lucky 1 in a million chance but no, my partner seems to be super fertile to make up for it or something. I'm on birth control now lol. |
| /u/loam-and-light Lollll idk why but "super fertile" made me laugh Like damn going from thinking you may have no babies to having two surprises and deciding to go on BC is crazy lol |
| /u/Specific-River-81 I was told I was infertile, and yes I guess I mistook that for sterile but at the same time didn't trust it. I had two surprise babies after 30, both on very slight birth control lapses that even the doctor said wouldn't matter, and then ended up getting told I was super fertile after an ovary scan. I think it was my first longterm partner that was truly infertile. I had to have my tubes tied |
| /u/PrehistoricPancakes PCOS was the reason for the infertility in my case. I'm glad we all have so many little miracles! |
| /u/AdDramatic6790 It genuinely shocks me that doctors go around telling young women that they're infertile just because they have PCOS. |
| /u/halabala33 Right? It just means you need to track and plan a bit more. My doctor had zero advice when we were trying for our 1st, it was PCOS=infertile, IVF is a must, bye bye. We managed to get pregnant without IVF, after 3 years of trying, literally after the first IVF consultation, I was to have some surgery for them to see what's up, and that was the cycle I finally got pregnant. I learned how to track ovulation, got pregnant with second within 3 months of trying, it was ectopic, lost one tube, and went on to have 2 more kids, both concieved within 3-4 months of trying. With PCOS and only 1 tube! |
| /u/Vexated13 My 23 year old friend got scared into carrying her child from an abusive partner because of her doctor saying it "would very likely be her one and only chance to be a mother" and would soon be infertile due to PCOS. Luckily they're relatively happy now, and she loves her kid to the ends of the universe and back, obviously, but she went through so much she shouldn't have and is with someone she really shouldn't be simply because of that opinion. |
| /u/Totallyfey Yeah poly cystic implies you make multiple eggs at once. I know a woman with PCOS who has fraternal twins. I know this isn't the case for everyone with PCOS but you'd think Doctors would know the possibility exists and share that with patients. |
| /u/IllustriousBicycle68 Actually it implies that you develop many/multiple ovarian cysts. You are correct that many women with PCOS can have healthy pregnancies and it doesn't (necessarily) stop ovulation. I'm also not sure why doctors often equate PCOS to infertility. Maybe they are trying to prepare their patients for disappointment should they not be able to conceive, or because it's easier to just lump everyone with PCOS into a group than actually figure out what's going on with their specific patient |
| /u/perpetualgoatnoises That's what happened to me at 14. I was hospitalized for a ruptured cyst. ER says I need to see a gynecologist for this. Had some scans and more blood tests than ever. Gyno sits me down, "I am sorry to tell you this but you have PCOS. You will not be able to conceive children. If by chance you do, it will most likely be ectopic pregnancy and that can put your life at risk." |
| /u/ItsAWrestlingMove Right? I have a lot of significantly younger friends through work and they're dating young women who are like 23 and talking about being infertile I'm like y'all are babies yourselves you know nothing and you're not actively trying? So how do you even know? What a wild thing to say to a man on a second date. Meanwhile I'm out here in my mid to late 30s celebrating the fact that I beat teen pregnancy. And if I got pregnant tomorrow? It'd still be a teen pregnancy - to quote Ciara Miller lmao. The times are so different from when I was growing up! |
| /u/12awr After having 2 IUD babies my doctor nicknamed me fertile turtle. A tubal fixed that issue lol. |
| /u/barbieneedscoffee My friend got pregnant 2x time with the nexaplanon implant. After the second time she was like we will be looking at different birth controls going forward 🤣 My first baby was a birth control + plan B baby (my now husband and I always used condoms as an added mesasure but one time we forgot!) He's a healthy 6 year old now, but we were always like okay dang it was meant to be. |
| /u/paulsclamchowder Yowza!! That's super rare, I'm also a person who got pregnant on Nexplanon. As of January 1st 2026 the manufacturer officially extended the approved use time to 5 years. Previously the manufacturer recommended use up to 3 years, but it was FDA approved for up to 5 so most people kept using it for 5 years. I got pregnant at 3 years 3 months 😵💫 I'd be interest to know the time frame your friend's Nexplanon failed! |
| /u/monsieur-escargot This is why I insist my partner also uses a condom!! No BC (other than sterilization) is 100%. I'm on the mini pill and freaked out that I could still get pregnant even with near perfect use. |
| /u/barbieneedscoffee Yes! and I've learned that so many outside factors can impact the effectiveness of your BC (antibiotics, some mood stabilizers, etc!) My doctor really never discussed those things with me when I first went out. Not saying mine was the norm (I sure hope not!) but I feel like it needs to be shouted from the rooftops more! |
| /u/monsieur-escargot Some mood stabilizers?! Off to google my anti-anxiety meds. 😬 |
| /u/Jen_outof10 Say what now??? I have an IUD, so naturally, this caught my attention.🙈 FWIW, mine's done its job for the past 10 years, but if I need to double-check some things, I will.🙃 |
| /u/12awr I wouldn't worry too much. My doctor said what happened is almost impossible with incredibly low odds. I'm just lucky they weren't ectopic and I didn't miscarry after they removed them. |
| /u/ShandalfTheGreen That's the part that makes this crazy to me! I state went old-school on its abortion laws so I got my tubes removed because I was so terrified of an ectopic pregnancy. Idaho 100% would have waited until I was actively dying to give me an "abortion" for an unviable pregnancy. I'm taking no chances! Now if I get pregnant it's going to be some miracle of science ha |
| /u/12awr I hear you, and in the end you have to do what's best for your own health knowing you have a state actively working against your best interests. To get my tubal the doctor made me get my husband's approval, and even then he spent so much time trying to convince me I may want more children I left pissed. He was the only GYN surgeon for hours because I lived in a small coastal community so I felt forced to use him. |
| /u/LittleBirdiesCards My dad once referred to my mom as a "Fertile Myrtle" and I almost threw up. |
| /u/jmurphy42 I was told that I'd likely be infertile because my mother and all of her sisters had major fertility problems, and I had the same symptoms. I'm incredibly glad that I was careful about birth control anyway, because I've gotten pregnant on the first try every single time I've attempted to. |
| /u/No_Yesterday7200 Mine was similar except 4 kids total. If he sneezed I got pregnant. Endometriosis diagnosed at 17 said my odds weren't good. |
| /u/Mylittlemoonshine My partner had testicular cancer in 2017 and he had his hangers and tubes removed; he also had a different gf at the time and another partner there after. I was girlfriend #3 post surgery and we welcomed our daughter in 2020. There have been many doctors involved with not being able to explain how he was able to produce a child. Despite him being a medical anomaly; I demanded a vasectomy. The day of his surgery the doctor was like John Travolta and didn't know what he was summoned for. https://giphy.com/gifs/6uGhT1O4sxpi8 |
| /u/theGiraffePainter 1 in a million and you guys bang all the time unprotected the odds just keep going up lol |
| /u/ChillMonger23 His sperm swimming towards your egg: https://giphy.com/gifs/lqRu0AbfzcpMJlmT2I |
| /u/Busy-Bus-6267 This is one of the reasons why sex education in all forms is so important. |
| /u/mildly_spicy_potato My Mormon parents opted me out of my highschool sex-ed without me even knowing 😅 |
| /u/last_rights My parents tried to opt me out, but me not telling them when it was combined with me ignoring the teachers call for "all exempt students can go to the library for a free period" made it so I didn't miss it. Also they owned the Joy of Sex and I found it when I was ten and was VERY interested in reading it. I learned most of the basics that way. |
| /u/marilyn_morose Surprise babies club! My bestie has the best surprise story. She had gone through menopause and hadn't had a cycle in about a year. Her abdomen was swelling. She was convinced she had cancer. So were her doctors. It was a grim and scary time... until they discovered the "tumor" was a five month pregnancy. She was 49-1/2 when she surprise was born! |
| /u/ScarInternational161 2 years post menopause here!! No cycle 2 years, 40yr old, only 1 ovary and tube left. Heterotopic pregnancy. Found out when the ectopic ruptured and they found a 2nd fetus snug in the uterus. Long story short, he survived the open abdominal surgery to clean up the ectopic rupture and is now 14.... my oldest is 38. 🤷♀️🤦♀️ |
| /u/bitchy_mcguire I'd never heard the term "heterotopic pregnancy" before reading your comment, so I was curious to Google it- WOW!!! The odds of that happening must have been one in a million 🤯 You basically won the lottery, lol! |
| /u/ScarInternational161 At 40, with kids ages 24, 21 and 13 i wasnt exactly thinking a lotto win lol, i think i cried a lot actually, but by God hes my pride and joy thats for sure!! Outside of invitro, which I guess it's rare, but not unheard of, it's so rare in my situation, and to have him survive, there are no statistics. My OB, who also did the emergency surgery for the rupture, got my permission to write about me in a journal lol. Every ultrasound tech after that point was so fun, here is a uterus, with a baby. No ovaries, no fallopian tubes.... poor things looks so confused. 🤣 |
| /u/Sharkopath That is incredible. What a little trooper!! |
| /u/Totallyfey The astounding horrors the human body is capable of a new anxiety for my perimenopause. |
| /u/marilyn_morose Yisss, love these wild and crazy stories. |
| /u/crystalfairie She wins. After menopause is scary. Then I remembered my hysterectomy and laugh. |
| /u/MochaBunBun83 Same! Told I would probably never have kids. She's 18. |
| /u/madrandombb As an infertile person... can this happen to me too 🥺 |
| /u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt As an infertile person, I've had to find about a million ways to say this to partners when I explain that we still have to use protection, even if we're tested and monogamous. |
| /u/HH_Creations lol yeah, i'm one of those people! Doctors told me at 26 I would have to do treatments to have a kid I'll be honest, they assumed I would understand it was because I only had 1-4 periods a year from 11-26 I didn't realize what they were talking about and genuinely thought they were saying I was incapable of being pregnant Guess who got pregnant 2 years later because I met my husband and apparently it was ANXIETY and I started having monthly periods It was scary I went from NO periods to nonstop ones, i legitimately had to have a hysterectomy because the periods were nonstop after my second kid 😭 Bodies are weird andddd we need better health classes |
| /u/Lizziedeee We need better studies of women's health. |
| /u/HH_Creations Worst bit was other women not believing me! One woman said me having "premarital sex" was the reason I got nonstop periods after my second kid :( |
| /u/ModeRevolutionary314 https://giphy.com/gifs/8vDbvPMP3tGF2 |
| /u/Ne0n_R0s3 Yeah, infertile means you just have a really really low egg/sperm count. Doesn't mean it isn't possible, just very unlikely. |
| /u/grapebeyond227 It can mean all sorts of things other than low egg/sperm count. You could have a uterine lining that is too thin to support a pregnancy. You could have a luteal phase that is too short and sheds before an embryo has a chance to implant. Your partner could have plenty of sperm, but other issues like morphology or bad swimmers. You could have a tube blockage of some sort. Or the eggs you do have are not viable to produce healthy embryos. And so on. |
| /u/mycookiepants Or a retrovered uterus, which is something I discovered I have thanks to an ultrasound |
| /u/nobody00000000001 Woah woah woah wait, no one told me that could affect fertility. When I specifically asked my doctors about that they said the only thing it did was make certain sex positions hurt for some people. Did a doctor tell you it made you infertile??? |
| /u/Lunarmoo Something like a quarter of women have a tilted uterus. I don't believe it is a significant factor in infertility in general. And for most people it tilts back forward by the second trimester of pregnancy, sometimes permanently. I would not be concerned about a retroverted uterus unless told otherwise by my doctor. |
| /u/effietea I had an ultrasound tech tell me I had a tilted uterus, but then said that his wife does too and they have 6 kids so I shouldn't worry |
| /u/mycookiepants Not infertile. I think it was one of multiple factors. |
| /u/United_Pain 🤣 I READ "removed" like 4 times and was writing a frantic comment asking about how you didn't know your uterus was removed until you had an ultrasound?! 👽👽👽 |
| /u/Icy-Purple4801 God, I would love to have a short luteal phase... I turned into a sick, depressed monster for my whole luteal phase! And I'm too sick to have kids unfortunately. |
| /u/AmarysEms64 That is a very simplified answer to a condition that actually has so many different causes. Infertility is not always tied to sperm and egg count. |
| /u/jackSeamus Some of the leading causes of infertility in women are ovarian cancer, PMOS and endometriosis. None of which are characterized by low egg count. |
| /u/Unusual-Helicopter15 Yep, my infertility is related to endometriosis, plus a bunch of other concurrent issues. IVF and the process to end up having a baby was eye opening with regards to all the roadblocks that can exist without anyone ever knowing. My ovarian reserve (egg count) is excellent. It's just every other little thing. |
| /u/jackSeamus My surprise endometriosis baby is about to turn 3. Five years of trying, failed ablation surgery, successful excision surgery and suddenly 5 positive pregnancy tests a year later 😅 Best of luck to you if you're still in the process of pursuing treatment or a child 🙏 |
| /u/AmarysEms64 Mine was not my own, but my husband's. Sperm count was perfect, but not a single one of them could swim properly |
| /u/HeadFullRoadFull Granted, this is my recollection from going through fertility treatment in 2014 (so there may be better info now), but we were told that statistics surrounding cause of fertility issues tend to fall like this: 1/3 of cases it's a findable issue with the man, 1/3 of cases it's a findable issue with the woman, and for that last third? Unknown cause(s). |
| /u/Live-Independent5954 My doctor said, which is just one source, that being labeled infertile medically just means you've been having unprotected sex regularly longer than a year without conception. I googled it and seems to be the case. MANY people would technically qualify as infertile. Not as uncommon as we think. And ALOT of people who would have been considered infertile have children. Myself included. Unless you don't have a reproductive system and have 0 eggs, you can get pregnant. Trust. |
| /u/Hungry_Box560 Yep, unexplained infertility here... now 7 weeks pregnant. We deserve more education on this stuff!! |
| /u/Live-Independent5954 We really do! It's so sad how little they do for women. |
| /u/Artistic-Salary1738 Congrats! The unexplained infertility club sucks. We had to do IUI, but I'm 19 weeks along. So many tests to find nothing wrong, we absolutely do need more education and research on women's health. |
| /u/HannahMarie04 I knew the difference, but its still really easy to lose hope. I had tried for a while with no luck, and a few months after I stopped trying is when this happened |
| /u/True-Quiet-7846 It be like that. Second kid took over a year to conceive. We decided we were fine with one, I got tipsy on margaritas on my birthday, bam, positive pregnancy test 3 weeks later!! |
| /u/HH_Creations I went from 1-4 periods a yr and told i would need treatments to get pregnant To monthly periods and 2 kids back to back haha 13 months apart |
| /u/AmarysEms64 The key is to pay attention when your doctor uses phrases like "most likely" or "unlikely to concieve" and so on. Watch the show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and half the women on there will say their doctor said something along those lines. There is a huge difference even between extremely low chances and impossibility. I spent 2 years trying to concieve with my husband. Saw a doctor that told us natural conception was "highly unlikely." We concieved our daughter that very week. A very happy surprise for us, but if you're betting on not concieving a baby you don't want on a doctor's "unlikely," dont! Edit to also add: I hope this is a happy surprise for OP and if not, I hope she lives somewhere where she has access to all options she might consider and good support. |
| /u/Donutgoblin21 you seem like you know some stuff... Tell Me, give me the science... is it the men? (serious question) |
| /u/keIIzzz Infertile means that it can be more difficult to get pregnant (which that difficulty depends on the person), but not impossible. Sterile means you cannot get pregnant at all, which usually will only be the case if you go through a sterilization procedure (although outliers exist). |
| /u/burnt-heterodoxy Team Sterile make some noiiiizzzeee! |
| /u/apricot675 50% of infertility cases are male factor. That can be a number of sperm issues. It's pretty wild that only women seem to worry about being the problem, I've never once heard of a guy who worried about their sperm quality/quantity until it became a known medical issue. They are all so confident their sperm works. |
| /u/__ew__gross__ A lot of early miscarriages are likely due to the sperm health. A man should start working out, stop eating bad and stop drinking alcohol because its been found that it harms the sperm which then affects pregnancy from miscarriage to the symptoms mom experiences during pregnancy. I think men need to prep like 2 months before they even think about spreding their seed. Ladies of you are consistenly having miscarriages early on in the pregnancy get your mans sperm checked. Its likely his fault not yours!!! |
| /u/MoistBlueberry1703 I swear our miscarriages were because my husbands age. A male MFM doctor said it was likely my egg. Uh. No |
| /u/commanderquill Uh, what? I think you're going to need to elaborate on that one. |
| /u/Express_Pop810 THC and alcohol use negatively affects the attachment of the placenta. One study I read showed that if a man's partner had pre Eclampsia, the next partner had a 50% higher chance of having it. The placenta is largely made up of paternal DNA. Men are told the lie they have more time than we do, they don't get counseled on healthy habits and the partner they have a baby with pays the price. 😕 |
| /u/commanderquill Oh shit, that's wild. |
| /u/Live_Philosopher_897 I mean, also some people are told they're infertile when they're not based on certain factors. I have PCOS (I guess PMOS now) and the first doctor who diagnosed me at 16 told me it meant I'd probably never have kids. Doctors after him took a much softer stance but the general consensus was that it would likely be pretty difficult based solely on that diagnosis, no ultrasounds, no fertility testing. I honestly took it at face value because they're doctors. I mourned my perceived possible inability to have children for the past 16 years. I got pregnant SO easily, second month of trying and that's because I got the date of ovulation wrong the first month and we tried on the wrong days. I know it is actually such a blessing but I'm almost pissed I was misled for literally half my life. |
| /u/Similar-Swimmer-2698 There are also very few reasons to suspect you're infertile until you've tried for a baby long enough to get the diagnosis. But a lot of people seem to hear doctors saying they're infertile because they had an irregular period or lots of cramping. |
| /u/ThrowRA-Svent I don't particularly agree with this take when it comes to women who *want* to get pregnant. Many people who are infertile still have sex with the intent of getting pregnant & they still pursue fertility treatments. I agree that *some* people think this way, but they are more often the women who weren't trying to get pregnant and thought their infertility meant they didn't need to use protection. |
| /u/DextersGirl I was one of them. I'm 43 now, I was told in my early 20's that I would need "serious medical intervention" to get pregnant. Got very surprised when I was 28. I think there was a rash of this "diagnosis" for women who were likely suffering from endometriosis and/or PMOS (previously PCOS), but not being diagnosed/treated for it, because there was not a lot of information or studies available. Women's medicine has a long way to go. |
| /u/lnc_5103 Was told the same due to endometriosis, fibroids, and cysts when I was 20. We got our surprise when I was 23. I had a stomach bug and then we had a condom mishap. I wasn't too worried about it but maybe should have been. She's a teen now 🤣 |
| /u/AggravatingBox2421 Me too! I have PMOS and a low egg count, but got pregnant on my first try at 27. With fraternal twins, too |
| /u/Yipperyupper I was diagnosed with PMOS when I was 18 and didnt expect to ever get pregnant until I unexpectedly did my last semester of college. When you have that in your mind after being told it would be impossible definitely a rug pull |
| /u/damndolly That's because we still know next to nothing about women's reproductive/ hormonal health. Like the say POCOS is supposed to limit pregnancy and make it harder. I have it, and I've had 3 children no problems. More research needs to be done, because we're all different and what one woman goes through, might not effect another the same. |
| /u/Common_Safety_8830 You would think science would want this info. We're one of the only mammal species (besides some whales) to go through menopause. Why is that? There is probably so much insight into how we work as a species in that info and it is just sitting there unstudied because....... |
| /u/commanderquill Science wants this info. Government and corporations either don't care or are too scared. Fucking with women's reproduction is serious business. The last time we tried to do something that wasn't birth control--morning sickness for pregnant women--there were horrific results. It's no excuse to remain ignorant. In fact, ignorance caused that. But no one wants to be the government or corporation or person who helps make the drug that kills babies or sterilizes (white) women. |
| /u/damndolly Glad you clarified, because they sure don't have a problem sterilizing women of color. Edit- lol to the downvotes, guess we as women are still divided. History will tell you my statement is true, and as a white woman I think it's disgusting that some of us don't stand up for each other just because the color of the skin that the woman is wrapped in. |
| /u/Professional_Cow9136 What? The poor whales! |
| /u/gOingmiaM8 Same, and ALL I had to do was learn my actual ovulation and timing. People seriously think just because I didn't get pregnant means I can't 🙄 |
| /u/Relative-Act5470 Yep, unless you're 100% sterile, there's a possibility of pregnancy, even if it's .000001% |
| /u/Meowiewowieex This happened to not one but TWO of my girlfriends. Spent thousands on IVF treatments, ended up with an oopsie baby. |
| /u/GoldenSilk6 Moreso than not. My best friend was told she would never conceive naturally because of her endometriosis. She came off the pill and got pregnant on their first try. Baby is now almost 5 months old. |
| /u/Sonnyjoon91 I'm fairly certain there is some twisted Greek God just up there laughing, every person I know who swears they couldn't get pregnant or that it would be life ruining to get pregnant, gets pregnant. The people I know desperate to get pregnant and become parents? Can't get pregnant. |
| /u/StatementLazy1797 I was told at 19 I didn't ovulate and would never get pregnant without some sort of medical intervention to fix that. I never planned on having kids, and was totally fine with this. Found out I was pregnant at 35. Okay, there's my one in a million miracle baby. At 39? TWINS. Two freaking babies. And I feel so shitty because I watch so many women around me go through hell and back just trying to make one baby, while I'm now surrounded by babies that I never particularly wanted in the first place. (I love my kids more than anything in the world, and I put everything I have into being a good mom. I am just honest about the fact that they were all mistakes.) |
| /u/Sonnyjoon91 Yep, some Greek god saw that resolve of being ok being babyless, and was like "you know what would be funny? Late baby.. Even funnier? More late babies |
| /u/StatementLazy1797 I am reaching up from my pile of babies and flipping him off right now. |
| /u/Formidabull My mom was thrilled to hear that her endometriosis was so severe that she and my dad wouldn't be able to have kids because she absolutely did not want them. I was a million to one shot according to her doctor. He told her it would be impossible for it to happen again. She had her tubes tied immediately after my sister was born (and a hysterectomy shortly after, she really did have severe endometriosis, it just didn't make it impossible to conceive after all). |
| /u/ratatatoskr Happened to my mom. I'm a "miracle child". |
| /u/George_Is_Upset I'm taking your tag "Happy girl dinner" as you are happy about this news so I want to say congrats!! 💗 I know for some it can feel like mixed emotions after coming to terms or starting to come to terms with infertility. Hoping you have all the support you need during your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best and hope you enjoy those dino nuggies!😊 |
| /u/HannahMarie04 Thank you so much! Its definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions, but overall we're both very happy |
| /u/clumpymascara Aw congratulations to you both. I hope you enjoy an uneventful pregnancy, with a radiant glow and minimal discomfort. |
| /u/Odd_Cress_2898 I was also alternating happy/scared until I saw the tag! https://giphy.com/gifs/37H5XhwrXuHPq |
| /u/Late_Progress_1267 How do we feel OP??? |
| /u/HannahMarie04 Very surprised but happy! Also very relieved because now I know why ive felt like death for the last month lol |
| /u/thefrenchphanie Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. The fatigue those first few weeks and the nausea etc. There is always something highly annoying! |
| /u/HannahMarie04 The fatigue is the worst lol. I tried to clean my bathroom and woke up on the floor. So far the nausea isn't too bad, except in the morning and around the smell of sandwiches |
| /u/BishopGodDamnYou When I was in my third trimester pregnant with twins I literally had to nap for like two hours a day lol. |
| /u/jetstream116 Most women start to feel a lot better around week 13! Hang in there! I kept a box of Honey Nut Cheerios next to my bed during first trimester and would eat a handful the second I woke up in the morning (or when I had insomnia in the middle of the night) to keep the nausea at bay! ETA: Congrats!! 🥳 |
| /u/honeyllama Currently in my first trimester and the Honey Nut Cheerios suggestion is amazing. Thank youuu!! |